It totally pisses me off that in every relationship I have I do all the work [exaggerated blaming]. Women/men don’t give a damn. I’m so sick of getting…It’s doesn’t matter what you do for someone they seem to just want to take and take…I think that’s the way of the world [unfinished thoughts, meaningless cliches] No matter what people take advantage of me. Even my best friend takes advantage of me. I don’t get my fair share, ever, no matter what I do. I just want someone to understand me and be there for me when I need them [see others as providing care, low insight about their part], but they never are. What ever happened to real romance [eulogized view of romance] where we really care, we’re really there for each other? I wish I could meet someone who’d come to the dance [jargon] – my first spouse never once bought me a card or a gift, even though I bought them 178 of them [unregulated emotional investment].

I’m beginning to realize for a long time I would go way overboard in relationships to get the person to love me [sees unbalanced role in relationships]. It still upsets me sometimes when I think about how hard I tried, and how little I got in return [contained insight without blaming]. But I realized I have to be the one to make sure my actions are done out of love and not desperate efforts to coerce someone to love me. I know I have a really high need to be understood [can place their feelings in a context of understanding without absorption], and a lot of times I get hurt when I don’t get my way. In fact I’m really upset with my mate now because they forgot my birthday, but I’m learning that I can pick up the pieces when I’m wrecked about something like that instead of blaming and screaming and throwing a tantrum [improved self-soothing]. Because not everyone sees things that same way I do.

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